Kiss Me Quick in Kent

Well we move in less than two weeks, so in an effort to have some new London adventures in my remaining days here, I went to the new big Primark in Oxford Street.

My previous visits to the £4-for-a-dress bargain store at the Hammersmith branch were short and impulsive. I remember why now. The store, while sprawling over a former C&A/Allders space, does nothing to add anything to the customer experience.

Thought I was being clever going in before lunch but it was already crowded. Like it was a Saturday and someone had said that the British economy would collapse unless more people bought A-line linen skirts and floral print dresses. After picking up 10 items, not trying them on, and then gradually my sensible gene kicking in and realising I didn't actually like half of them, I spent £38 on five items.

Was nearly £48 as the daft bint at the till (who was ironically giving till training to a new girl) put one item through twice and so had to escort me to the separate customer services area where she did sweet FA to get the attention of one her 'colleagues' to refund my £10. After 5 minutes I said "Are you going to do anything?" and she said "We have to wait for someone and we can't go over there as they (other frustrated shoppers who had been queuing for ages) might think we're pushing in" to which I replied. "Yes but I am not here to bring some of your cheap and nasty clothes back, I am here because you did the transaction wrong YOU FKG DOPEY C*NT NOW GET IN THERE AND GET ME MY REFUND." That last bit might be a bit different to what was actually said.

Left feeling that whilst a bargain, the place is still a shop for scumbags - that includes the staff. Went straight over the road to New Look where it was peaceful and quiet and got some better quality stuff for not much more. And the staff were nicer.

Will only be back to Primark when I need a pair of shoes for £2. Even in the cheap end of the retail universe, the shopping experience counts for everything in my book.

Look forward to similar adventures in Westwood Cross shopping centre. Broadstairs!

A good friend cheered me up today by sending me this clip from Current TV, the user-generated-content channel set up by former US vice-president, Al Gore. The girl (not my friend) in this is very annoying and can fk off.

Off Southend Pier.
It's the longest pleasure pier in the world you know, even with the all the fires and various boats steaming into it.

Mind you, I hated growing up in Southend. That's why I am moving to Broadstairs.

Hit a nerve? No, surely not. Oh well, each to their own. It is mildly amusing in places.

By the way, was fortunate enough to meet Mr Gore at the launch of Current TV a few months ago, were he said hello to me in the style of Joey from 'Friends': "How you doing?"

Despite the smarm, he was pleasant enough, but actually quite dull and stuck to the script completely when interviewed, but then I guess that's what made him a good politician.

Well we're still waiting for the final nod. Not only is our current landlord totally crap for posting rather than faxing our references, thus slowing the whole process up, but the letting agents are giving non specific times as to when we will see the next bit of 'action'.

I am inclined to quote the bitchy one from 'Bridget Jones', "Does nothing work outside of London?", but to be honest with you, nothing bloody works in London, so it not very different really. Just ultimately annoying.

All I want is someone to stay "Yes you are definitely moving", so I can get on with the boring job of changing a billion utilities...having moved a trillion times in my life I know the score now:
- If you don't give BT about 10 days, you'll have no phone.
- If you don't call your broadband provider the right amount of days following your call to BT they will claim there is no BT line at the new place.....
- Back to BT to be told there is a line
- Back to ISP where they will act like bellends until you shout and scream and/or tell them you are a journalist.

Pathetic really....

And we're planning to get Sky. God knows what customer services joys that will bring up.